2012 Masters Fantasy Draft

Just like we did for the NCAA Tournament, Amilian, Nolo, Q, and I are having a Masters fantasy draft. The rules: low score wins, +2 added to players who don’t make the cut, players who make the cut can’t go higher than their two-round total (ex: if the cut is +4 and your guy makes the cut, no matter his weekend score, the worst you can get is +4), and -2 bonus to the person with the winner. That’s it. I had the #1 pick so let’s get to it.

Kyle: The order will be I choose what pick I want, then Quade chooses, then Amilian, then Nolan (since Nolan is 90% going to win the NCAA tournament one) (we pick our picks in reverse order of who won the most recent draft…in this case, I got last so I pick my pick first). The plus side of Nolan winning that pool, by the way, is that nobody has to wait on money. I’ll take the first pick in our Masters draft.

Quade: I love the snarky-ness already. Great stuff. I wonder who you’re going to take? I’ll go second.

Quade: Maybe this is priveleged information, but is there a Masters scoring averages database anywhere? That has to exist, no?

Nolo: If Kentucky and Kansas play 100 times, how many times does Tyshaun Taylor outscore Anthony Davis and Terrance Jones combined? My guess is less than 10. I’ll take last pick in our Masters draft. I could use this today.

Nolo: Here you go, Quade…

Nolo: I love how much we hate each other on days like today.

Quade: Pistolsguy is on the first tee…see what I did there?

Kyle: Yeah…we see it…

Round 1

Kyle: Okay I’ll get it kicked off and take my turn on the Rorycoaster (Nolan’s heart is still as broke as that 80 he dropped last year). And you better believe I’ll be lurking by Butler Cabin with Jimmy Nantz on Sunday afternoon ready to “assist” any of Rory’s duck hooks back into the fairway…

Quade: You couldn’t make it easy on me, you had to leave the two guys I’d most want in the first round on the board. Well crap, I really want to take Tiger because I think he may win the whole thing, but I just can’t not take Phil. I just have too big of a man crush on him to not take him. So, I’ll go Lefty.

Amilian: I wonder if we all had the same top 3. I’ll take the 4-time Masters Champion, the Cablinasian Sex Addict, Ti-GRRRRRRRRRRR Woods!!

Nolo: Those were my three also which makes it tough to pick two in a row without having one of the three I wanted on the board. I’ll take Lee Westwood…

Round 2

Nolo: …and Adam “Big Sexy” Scott.

Kyle: Is that really his nickname?

Nolo: It is now.

Amilian: Give me Mahan because I’m ORANGE TO THE BONE!!! No chance he falls to me in the next round.

Kyle: How did we just let Amilian draft the favorite and the #1 ranked U.S. player with the third and sixth picks??

Quade: That’s definitely where I was going next. Alas, I’ll take Bubba Watson. I may or may not be trying to acquire only left handers.

Amilian: If you were going to take Mahan I’m probably going to call your bluff on trying to only take left handers

Kyle: Sure, I’ll take the only non-Tiger player to finish in the top ten each of the last two years. Give me Choi Kyung-Ju (KJ Choi).

Round 3

Kyle: Okay, I guess I’ll take the #1 player in the world right now. If I have to. Luke Donald with my third rounder.

Quade: Jen will be so happy. That you took K. J., not Donald. PS…anyone know what school Donald went too?

Kyle: He went to Northwestern, brah.

Quade: Okay, brah.

Amilian: I knew the chances of him falling back to me were slim. I debated between him and Mahan, and my orange blood took over.

Nolo: Wow I honestly didn’t think anybody would take him. I thought I could sneak him in there in the 4^th round or so. Good pick, Pistols Guy. On another subject, do you think any of us would pick Ian Poulter if he was the 10^th ranked player in the world? That’s just high enough that you would think he should get taken, but I feel like none of us would want to take the abuse that would come with drafting a human Easter egg.

Quade: Yeah, but given that the tournament ends on Easter it’s only fitting that he will eventually win it, no?

Quade: I’ll take Nick Watney. He’s made the cut all four times he’s participated and he goes under par 50% of his rounds at Augusta.

Kyle: Wait, you, like, did research for this?

Quade: I may or may not be working off of a spreadsheet that may or may not be dispersed at the end of this draft.

Kyle: Does anyone know where Watney went?

Quade: No, why don’t you go ahead and tell us, brah.

Amilian: I’ve made my third pick in my head several times now and I have talked myself out of it every time. Pick coming shortly…

Kyle: Haha, Fresno. Does anybody here think Quade can beat anyone else here at the “where did that guy go to school” game? I don’t.

Quade: If we’re talking anything other than golf I think I could beat all three of you. I’m actually really ticked you think I don’t know where people went. I thought we were closer than that.

Kyle: Haha, I know you’d own me in hoops and probably football too. I’d take you in baseball though. Remember that time you didn’t think I knew where Reggie Evans went to school?

Amilian: Not sure why we’re talking about Reggie Evans during a Masters draft, but I’ll get us back on point. 13th overall pick in the 2012 Masters Draft: Justin Rose. And I just realized my team has collectively won four PGA events in 2012.

Quade: Amilian, is that who you kept talking yourself out of? If so you just wasted a lot of our cyber-time, because that’s a great pick.

Amilian: No, he’s who I talked myself into.

Kyle: Now Quade has the only all-USA team left. Actually Quade had an all-USA team last year too so that means he’s 8-8 on USA Masters picks.

Quade: Wow, I had no idea I was so subconciously patriotic. I wish you hadn’t said it because now I think it’ll influence my last two picks.

Kyle: That’s why I did it.

Nolo: I’ll take *gulp* Keegan Bradley…

Round 4

Nolo: …and Jason Day. Bradley is playing good golf right now, has won a major in the last calendar year, and Day was in the thick of things last year on the back nine on Sunday.

Amilian: Yep Bradley is one I wanted to take but couldn’t pull the trigger. My third pick came down to Rose and Day. My way of determining who: Google each of them and see who has the tightest picture. I saw a pic of Day with a weenie dog and I freaking hate weenie dogs.

Nolo: Google a picture of Day’s wife and you might re-think things…

Amilian: I saw her. She couldn’t overcame my hatred for those weenie dogs.

Quade: Wait, Day has a weenie dog? I have a weenie dog, sorry Amilian. That is hilarious, btw. I agree Keegs in his first trip to Augusta is really risky. Yeah, he won a major but he won the easiest major, and playing in Augusta for the first time is quite different. I like the Day pick, though this is only his second trip to Augusta. Amilian, I’d put money down that Rose finishes higher than Bradley. I think you made the call.

Amilian: Steve Stricker is a safe play at #4. I’d love to take more risky picks but I’m in the hunt for my first SI Cover.

Kyle: This kind of thinking is exactly why you don’t have one.

Nolo: There are about 2 players left that need to get taken for me to make my patented “eff it” pick in the 5^th round.

Amilian: I don’t think you can make an “eff it” pick in the 5th round unless it’s Jose Maria Olazabal

Nolo: It was between him and John Daly.

Quade: Crap, here’s where I really wish pistolsguy hadn’t told me I’ve never taken a non-American player. I’m so torn, literally both ways. Part of me wants to keep the streak alive and part of me wants to break it just to break it and I’ve got a guy in each camp I’m looking at. If I’m not going American I’ll go next (or maybe third, I really like Canada) best thing…Geoff Ogilvy. 6 of 6 cuts in Augusta and 11/24 rounds under par.

Amilian: I love the Ogilvy pick. Not sure you needed to validate it with his recent Masters stats.

Kyle: So is that your pick or no?

Kyle: Also, can you Instagram me a picture of you literally being torn?

Quade: Yeah, Ogilvy is my pick. Sorry that wasn’t clear.

Quade: I already have the text written for my last pick. If pistolsguy takes him I’m going to be upset.

Kyle: Crap, there are four guys I’m DYING to pick. I’ll go Bo Van Pelt with my fourth round pick (crazy that three OSU guys could get picked and Fowler isn’t one of them?). ..

Amilian: You fag I wanted Van Pelt.

Kyle: That’s a mature way for a 27-year old married person to respond to the last pick in the fourth round of a Masters fantasy draft with $9.50 on the line.

Quade: That’s the best sentence we’ve seen typed in the draft today. And, given the sarcasm, probably the most accurate.

Amilian: I’m sorry I’m not on my best behavior for Masters week pistolsguy. Not all of us are in the mindset that we have to act all mature and proper because we’re going to be at the most prestigious golf tournament in the world.

Nolo: SETTLE DOWN MATT! THIS ISN’T THE DAMN PHOENIX OPEN!!!!

Round 5

Kyle: Eff it, I’ll take Snedeker and his sick visor. I rolodexed through him, Kuchar, and “Freddie-Freddie!!” like 25 times but I’ll go Sneds. Vandy has already killed me once this spring (Jenkins), it can’t happen again, can it?

Quade: Thank you…He’s 29 and has less hair than me. He went to the same university as Chris Paul and Tim Duncan and he majored in religious studies. He has a win on tour this year and is 9th in the FedEx Cup Standings. What more can I ask for? Nothing really, that’s why I’m going with Bill Haas. I really thought you’d take Freddie, but I don’t appreciate you putting it in either of these guys’ minds, because it’s pretty much inevitable he’ll make the cut and make noise on the weekend. Oh, and I love the Snedeker pick. Salty.

Amilian: Give me a few minutes to decide on whether or not I want Fowler. My first thought is that I’m not confident with his game but I can’t get over how bad I want to be pulling for him if he makes it to Sunday and he’s rocking the orange.

[8 seconds later] Amilian: Yep, give me Rickie.

Quade: Those were the quickest few minutes in history.

Nolo: I said a couple 4 letter words out loud when I read that.

Amilian: Quade, is that what she said?

Quade: No, not unless we did this draft yesterday and it was an April Fools joke.

Nolo: I’ll take Dustin Johnson with my last pick… (replaced by Ian Poulter after DJ withdrew)

We added a bonus round where you can pick somebody from a country that isn’t represented on your team yet. That person’s score can replace your worst player’s score…if you want it to. The countries represented so far are: Kyle (N. Ireland, S. Korea, England, USA), Quade (USA, Australia), Amilian (USA, England), Nolo (USA, Australia, England). Here we go…

Nolo: …which leaves me with Northern Ireland’s Graeme McDowell in the bonus round.

Amilian: Can’t talk myself into the reigning champ. I’ll take Y.E. Yang to culturize my roster

Quade: I’ll take Charl, but solely because he’s a bonus, because I fully expect him to be in the top 10 or miss the cut entirely.

Nolo: He’s missed the cut in his last 2 tournaments which is why I didn’t take him.

Quade: Yeah, exactly, making him a perfect bonus pick. Here’s what I was working off of this morning. Made this in 15 minutes when I got to the office this morning. [attaches detailed Excel spreadsheet]

Nolo: Is there anything whiter than making an Excel spreadsheet of your potential Masters fantasy draft picks?

Kyle: I will draft Anthony Kim with my bonus round pick!

Quade: Uhhh, is he not technically American?

Kyle: Oh, is he? In that case I’ll go with El Pato – Angel Cabrera to round out this year’s draft.

Final Squads

Kyle: Rory – KJ – Donald – BVP – Snedeker – El Pato

Quade: Lefty – Bubba – Watney – Ogilvy – Haas – Schwartzel

Amilian: Tiger – Mahan – Rose – Stricker – Fowler – YE

Nolo: Westwood – Scott – Bradley – Day – Johnson – McDowell

Who do you guys think should be the favorite?