Ranking the Big 12 Expansion Candidates

We can sit here and debate all day about whether the Big 12 will (or should) expand from 10 to 12 (or 16?) teams. This is an exercise the sports media is well-versed in, and I am not exempt.

It’s fun to get fake mad about whether a conference (which is little more than an arbitrary group of schools that are, um, mildly geographically related) should grow or shrink based on what these other arbitrary schools do or don’t do.

But ultimately, we don’t get to make those decisions. The athletic directors of the Big 12 do.

And you can argue that expansion is dumb (here) or that expansion is misguided and should be pointed towards the CFB Playoff instead (there) or that, well, nobody really has any clue what in the world is going to happen and the Big 12 has totally lost its mind by bring in a computer to simulate 40,000 college football seasons to see which option it should choose (everywhere!)

I’m of the opinion that expansion is pretty silly based on the landscape of schools available for expansion. Unless you’re bringing me Clemson and NC State then I really have no interest in chatting. But again, nobody really cares what we think.

Instead let’s look at the teams the Big 12 is maybe, probably and definitely secretly looking at for expansion ranked from which schools I would most like to see and which schools I would least like to see in order.

1. Houston

Elite football team that would annoy Texas and Baylor mercilessly and take recruits from our more southern brethren? Check. Kelvin Sampson facing Oklahoma State again? Check. Geographic sense? Check. It makes too much sense. I know Houston adds nothing in terms of eyeballs, clout or whatever else the Big 12 cares about, but again this is a wish list not a list based in any type of actual reality.

2. BYU

It’s the most logical, best choice (I guess). They just don’t do that much for me. I guess you get to claim Jimmer and Ty Detmer or something, but am I really staying up until 3 a.m. for a football game in Provo? I mean, I am because I have to … but are you? Are we? What are they bringing to the table? Why is the Big 12 even expanding if the team it probably most covets excites nobody in the heart of Big 12 country outside of the Bobik family?

3. Memphis

At this point it would just sort of feel like you’re trying to string together a poor man’s SEC. Memphis would be quite fun for hoops though. Maybe the Big 12 should just start its own basketball league (you know, like wrestling does) and invite all these teams for basketball but not football.

4. Cincinnati

People keep acting like I should be excited about Cincinnati as a real candidate for the Big 12. Why? Because David Boren loves them? All these teams are just poorer versions of like two or three other teams in their current states. Which actually describes the Big 12’s national perception quite well right now.

5. UConn

It’s like, what, 50 miles farther to the east than Morgantown? The football benefits are, uh, difficult to fund, but on the plus side UConn adds immediate cachet to the Big 12 as a basketball league (not that it needs any) and you give Kim Mulkey nightmares for the next decade.

6. UCF

How far down the list is UCF in the state of Florida power rankings?! This would be like the ACC inviting Pepperdine and feeling good about it. I do like the new uniforms though.

Can't wait to get our hands on these! Just the beginning…

⚔ https://t.co/RBy3siJU8m#UCFast #ChargeOn pic.twitter.com/8MIgIlEDW1

— UCF_Equipment (@UCF_Equipment) May 5, 2016

7. USF

Remember when they were ranked No. 2 that one year?

8. Tulane

Not walking through that door: Shaun King.