Hot Take of the Day: Toilet Paper Is Archaic and Should Not be Used

This is only the third edition to our Hot Take of the Day series, and I might already be sending it off the rails.

I’m going to try to keep this as not gross as possible, but it’s important that whatever masses I can reach hear this.

Toilet paper was good for its era, but that era should’ve ended a long time ago. Public restrooms aren’t fun for a lot of reasons, but I particularly hate them because I know if I do, I’m going to have to use some construction paper on my backside.

Let me put it like this: when you clean your car, you don’t just take a dry rag to it, right? When you bathe, you don’t just stand in the shower sans water and hope a dry washcloth does the job, do you? So why when you “clean” your backside why are you just using a dry piece of paper?

Now I’m not saying to go full-fledged bidet. Personally, I’ve never used one. I think I’d be willing to give it a try, but I’ve just never been in the situation.

What I am saying is please use some flushable wipes. Most toilet paper companies make them (if you have some sort of brand loyalty to TP). You might look at the pack and ask “Why would I pay this much for this when I can get 12 rolls for the same price?” Well A) You’re going to use less wipes per sitting. B) Is cleaning yourself not worth the extra dollar or two per capita?

It’s a quicker experience, it’s a cleaner experience and it’s an overall smoother experience.

Use wipes. You’ll thank me after you do.