Oklahoma State’s Thumping in Oregon Gets Josh Pate’s ‘Sarah McLachlan Special’ Treatment

Josh Pate has been a growing name in the college football media space over recent years, but with partnerships with ESPN, On3, Yahoo and more this season, he’s taken a bigger step into the spotlight.

He does what’s called a “Sarah McLachlan Special” (think the sad animal shelter commercials with McLachlan’s “Angel” playing). Sunday’s “Sarah McLachlan Special” featured the Cowboys 69-3 thumping at the hands of the Oregon Ducks.

The lights in Pate’s studio came down, sad music started to play and Pate started discussing the game:

“At the half, ladies and gentlemen, Oregon had six touchdowns, Oklahoma State had five first downs. Oregon had 473 (yards) at the half. They had 135 yards and 13 points 1:34 into this game. 

“I have in my hand — this is where you want to put the women and children to bed — Oklahoma State’s drive chart sounds a little something like this: three-and-out, three-and-out, punt, field goal, three-and-out, three-and-out, (half), three-and-out, three-and-out, three-and-out, pick-six, pick-six, punt, end. In every way possible, the end. 

“A close follow up, the Oregon drive chart: touchdown, touchdown, turnover on downs — this is where it gets really bad — touchdown, touchdown, touchdown — pause for breath — touchdown, touchdown, missed field goal, touchdown and then a couple of charity punts. Punt, punt is what that sounds like at the end of the game.

“And they’re rich. 

“This was a sad, sad thing to watch. I texted poor (sideline reporter) Jenny Dell afterwards, and I told her — this is actually pretty graphic — I told her I once saw an auto accident where someone passed away. And it’s not something to joke about, and it stayed with me for a little while. However, I did tell her that only to follow it up with, ‘Having to be the sideline reporter for this game may have an effect on you psychologically for a few months, so just be ready.’ She’s got the same kind of sick, twisted sense of humor as I do, so she laughed at it.

“I can’t believe how bad it was. It was worse than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be a splattering. But this was a splattering and a half.

“The Sarah McLachlan Special. You’re welcome, Dan Lanning. Ts and Ps, Mike Gundy.”

The game was brutal, but at least there’s a semi-comedic take on it to laugh through the pain about.