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A few things SI would have been better off investigating

SI would have been better off checking into these 10 things instead of the OSU football program.

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Photo Attribution: USATSI

Photo Attribution: USATSI

We’re dangerously close to “LOL, IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS?!” territory with the Sports Illustrated story on Oklahoma State (unless there’s a hammer, of course) and since that’s the case I thought I’d make a short list of things Sports Illustrated would have been better off investigating…

I should include this tweet since it’s what spawned the idea for me:

Here are a few of mine…

1. How Jacob Lacey ended up in the NFL — I might be misremembering the crap out of this but did he ever, at any point in his career, invoke the thought “dude’s gonna play in the league!”?

2. How Tyler Hatch made a basket in the Durant 3OT game — While we’re here, SI could do an investigation on how much Thayer Evans bought Tyler Hatch’s hair for on eBay?

3. How Madeline Pickens’ halftime horse show was given the thumbs up by anyone — I think I know the answer to this one (OK, I know I do) but goodness.

4. How Alex Cate got that start — If they still want to talk about money, how about how much the Cate family had to donate to the POSSE organization for their son to get the nod over Weeden? I’ll set the over under at $1.2 million.

5. How Prentiss Elliot’s name hasn’t come up — I feel like you lose a little credibility as an organization when you go all in on a money/drugs/academics scandal and his name is nowhere to be found. That’s one of the things I’d believe no questions asked at this point!

6. How Sean Sutton could chew on gravel and marbles for so many years and never crack a molar — it really seems pretty far-fetched but he was able to pull it off.

7. How Lou Holtz has a job talking about sports on television and Andre Sexton doesn’t — [incessantly beats No. 20 drum]

8. How Les Miles survived a half decade in Stillwater exclusively eating synthetic turf — In retrospect, it seems like this is a Sean Sutton-ish “marvel of science” story. I’m blown away that he didn’t at least need an intestinal surgery or two.

9. What the odds were of getting a life-threatening disease at Dirty’s — Seems like we could get OKC Dave on a statistical breakdown with this one.

10. Who started the “U-S-O! U-S-O!” chant — Whoever it was should receive the fate Oklahoma State fans wish upon Thayer Evans.

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