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The Top 8

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We were having a discussion earlier today about who OSU could beat on a neutral field of the teams ranked ahead of them (1-9). So I thought, let’s break this down Merril-Hodge-style. Here we go! (by the way this is categorized under “hail mary” because I’m kind of just throwing something up there and seeing what happens…)

1. Oregon – This would be interesting (obviously). Their offense is UNREAL and I think operates at a higher level than ours. BUT I just don’t think they have the playmakers we have. IF they get in trouble (and that’s a massive IF) they don’t have an “oh, crap, let’s just give it to this guy and see what happens” guy. We do. He wears number 81. Neither of us has a D, Kendall and LaMichael are a wash. They only put up 15 on the road against an atrocious Cal team. We’re a much different team than the one they rolled in Qualcomm two years ago, we’re a lot deeper and a lot more physical. I say neutral field, give me the Cowboys.

2. Auburn – Different story here. Again, no D on either side and Weeden would abuse their secondary. But they have Cam and we don’t have anyone (or anytwo or anythree) who can stop Cam. Auburn beats us on a neutral field.

3. Boise – I’m torn on this one. I LOVE Boise and I think they can play with anybody. I think they’re deep, athletic, well-coached, and disciplined. Their defense is ridiculous too. For all the Boise haters out there go back and watch the Virginia Tech game, it was a war, Boise just kept coming at them until they folded. Boise is the real deal. I think if we could get in a shootout with them we’d have a chance. I don’t think we’re winning if there are only like 35 points scored total. I’ll take OSU on a neutral field, which I might actually be picking here in about 21 days or so…

4. TCU – They’re different than Boise in that they don’t really get in shootouts with anybody. I think we would have a tougher time with them than with Boise because of how much better their D is than ours. I’m really getting into this matchup thing right now, I feel like somebody should call Jaws and tell him what I’m doing over here. Anyway, I think we could score a little bit on them but they really have the only defense in the country that I could say “yeahh, that’s probably not happening, we might get to 28-31 but we’re not getting past that. TCU on a neutral field.

5. LSU – Yes, we would beat LSU on a neutral field. I don’t understand how they win games. It’s like Mad Hatter thinks he’s playing Playstation and he can just wait until the end of the game to throw up ridiculous plays that miraculously work because he sold his soul and the devil lets him play on junior varsity mode. I don’t understand it. We would score on them and they wouldn’t be able to keep up with us. OSU on a neutral field.

6. Stanford – I think this would be a GREAT game. Two incredible quarterbacks. Stanford is more physical, we’re more athletic, both teams are really deep. I think we could score on them but we would have trouble physically hanging with them. It seems like they would just start wearing us out at some point but who knows, maybe Blackmon and Weeden would just say “screw it” and take over and send Mel Kiper and his draft board reeling for the next 4 months. Trees over OSU on a neutral field.

7. Wisconsin – Has Wisconsin adopted the forward pass yet? Seriously, every play I’ve seen them run the last 2 weeks has been a run. Granted that was about 14 TDs worth of runs in the last 120 minutes, but still. They’re a lot like Stanford to me — big, physical, intimidating, disciplined, great running game. They just don’t have Luck. OSU in a tight one on a neutral field.

8. Ohio St. – Terrelle Pryor. Has anybody ever been more overrated in the illustrious history of Big 10 quarterbacks? How is he not just a glorified Drew Tate? Seriously, somebody give me a good reason. How is he consistently in the Heisman discussion? I just don’t understand. By the way, in case you were wondering, Drew Tate is currently a signal caller for the Calgary Stampeders with Darryl Clark backing him up. Seriously. Anyway, I hate that Ohio St. is good, really I do. But they are. They’re loaded with massive, super-athletic lineman and, unlike most other Big 10 teams, actually have good athletes at the skill positions. They wouldn’t beat this OSU team though, they just wouldn’t be able to score enough to keep up. OSU (our OSU) on a neutral field by more than you think.

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