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What Big 12 Coaches Meant to Say

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On Tuesday (that feels like a year ago now) I wrote a bit about what Gundy, Weeden, and Blackmon were really trying to convey at Big 12 media days. It was fun, I got some good feedback, I think there was more truth in there than anyone would admit, but why should we stop with OSU-affiliated players/coaches? Let’s get on to the rest of the conference!

Mack Brown
What he said: “[I need] a QB to get the swagger back.”
What he meant: “I need a QB”

What he said: (On the QB position) “The number one thing we want is leadership.
What he meant: “Why me, God?!?! He was the Gatorade national player of the year!!”

What he said: (On how much has been made of the Longhorn Network): “Really?”
What he meant: “It’s so, so good to be me.”

What he said: “When Colt McCoy and Jevan Snead were competing in spring practice after Vince Young left, we didn’t know who would be the quarterback when we left spring practice.”
What he meant: “I might be a worse evaluator of talent than our basketball coach.”

What he said: “One of them told me last night: Do you know they picked us fifth in the league? I don’t know that. I do now.”
What he meant: “Hell, I didn’t even know our conference had five teams! I thought it was just us, OU, and Nebraska…are they still with us?”

What he said: (On whether he thought Texas will be good this year) “Yes.”
What he meant: “I make $5+ million a year no matter how many games we win. Who cares?”

Bob Stoops
What he said (allegedly): “I’ve got three outstanding players here with me in Travis Lewis, linebacker, senior linebacker; Ryan Mallett, a senior wide receiver; and then junior quarterback in Landry Jones.”
What he meant: I think whoever transcribed this was still stuck on SEC Media Days…from 2010.

What he said: (On replacing DeMarco Murray) “I think I’m really excited because there’s a lot of potential in that back field with those running backs.”
What he meant: “Do you know how elated I am to get that injury-prone subpar athlete out of my backfield?”

What he said: “[The SEC has] won that last game here for five years. So it’s our job as other conferences or other schools to win it.”
What he meant: “Tebow doing that gator chomp thing in Nic Harris’ face was kinda funny…”

What he said: “The 2000 team, I didn’t have any inkling going in, to be honest with you.
What he meant: “I mean my gosh, you saw Heupel throw, didn’t you?”

Mike Sherman
What he said: “It’s great to be up here in Dallas, kick off the Big 12 and look forward to the season.”
What he meant: “I hope Texas goes 0-12.”

What he said: “The one thing [Tannehill] brings to the table, always has, is confidence”
What he meant: “Where the hell is Reggie McNeal when I need him.”

What he said: “Certainly Oklahoma State, a team that we have not found a way to win since I’ve been at A&M. We’ve lost to them three games in a row. I prefer playing them a little later [than September 24].”
What he meant: “My GOODNESS Blackmon, you left $15 million on the table, why are you doing this to me?!?!

Art Briles
What he said: “We’re pumped and ready to go and jump out there and see what can happen.”
What he meant: “I could have hired Rex Ryan as my defensive coordinator and we’d still give up fifty a game this year.”

What he said: “I’m not sure there is one opponent that’s that much more dominating over another over maybe a ten-year period.”
What he meant: I honestly have no idea what he meant.

What he said: “[Texas is] pretty hard to recruit against anyway, you know what I’m saying?
What he meant: “Why are you asking me this? We don’t recruit the same players as Texas.”

Gary Pinkel
What he said: “I think as the league, as it’s evolved to ten teams, I think the league will be as strong or stronger nationally each and every year, and the competition every week you better bring it.”
What he meant: “I should be at Big 10 media days right now.”

Tommy Tuberville
What he said: “[TCU is] really probably not the type of team we want to play right now.”
What he meant: “When does my contract end?”

What he said: “I wish we still had Nebraska and we still had Colorado.”
What he meant: “I am so happy to be playing Iowa State every year.”

What he said: “I don’t think there’s any doubt we can sustain with ten teams and we can make the best out of it and even become a stronger conference maybe than what it was. That’s a political answer, right”
What he meant: I don’t even really need to translate this, do I?

Turner Gill
What he said: “I decided to redshirt the majority of [my freshmen] because I thought there would be a better situation as far as the following year and two or three years down the road they would be bigger, faster, stronger, and I thought that would benefit our program definitely in the long term.”
What he meant: “We were screwed either way.”

Paul Rhoads
What he said: “For those of you that haven’t seen the [2-point conversion we attempted against Nebraska for the win last year], it was a fake extra point and intended receiver was wide open from me to you, Barry, wide open, and we failed to execute.”
What he meant: “I tried to kill my field goal holder after that game because he can’t throw a 3.5 yard pass.”

Bill Snyder
What he said: “I don’t know that I’m aware of any particular signs that would allow us to continue to [improve in the offseason].”
What he meant: “I’ll be 72 in October.”

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