Boone Q&A

I was going to run this in the morning links but there was too much gold to bury it with more “Weeden is good” and “OSU plays OU in December” articles.

This was originally run on Politico.com and the interview was conducted by a guy named Patrick Gavin who has been a writer in Washington for the last eight years.

My commentary is in italics. Enjoy…

Tell us your favorite joke.

This guy goes into the bank. The banker calls the customer in and says, “You’re on default on three loans that I’ve got to talk to you about. The first one is we loaned you the money to buy a drilling rig and the drilling rig isn’t even working, so that’s underwater.” And the customer responded, “That’s right, but it could be worse.” The response annoyed the banker but he didn’t say anything at that point.

So he said, “We also loaned you the money to buy this oil production facility, and it’s not producing as much money as forecast and is producing quite a bit of saltwater.” The customer said, “Yeah, but it could be worse.” The banker continued. “Third, we loaned you money to develop leases that you would flip very quickly, and that didn’t happen either. What do you have to say about that?” Again, the customer replied, “Well, it could be worse.” The banker was annoyed now. “How in the hell could it be worse?” he asked. The customer said, “It could have been my money.”

I feel this could have ended much MUCH worse.

When’s the last time you used profanity?

I said this morning, about somebody who keeps getting out in front, that the higher the monkey climbs a tree, the more people can see his ass. So I just said, let him go ahead and climb the tree. I use profanity a lot.

How many hours of sleep do you get on average?

Four to five.

Amen, brother.

Describe your level of ambition.

On a scale from 1-10, my ambition is probably 11 or 12.

This is hyperbole in the way me and my friends use it. “How excited are you about somebody not named Tiger dominating golf on a scale of 1-100?” “Oh, I’m probably like a 331…”

You’re president of the United States for enough time to make only one executive decision. What is it?

No more OPEC oil — and mean it.

What’s a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we’ll look back on with regret?

To me, emails are a little bit frustrating. I think that the telephone is much preferred because you get the sound of the voice and the interest and everything else you can’t see in an email. And sometimes emails should be interrupted. You shouldn’t have to read the whole thing. You should be able to say, “Stop. Just a second, let’s discuss this.” I think emails are kind of an interesting deal, but telephones are a lot better.

Boone doesn’t like emails. I am stunned. Odds he runs his own Twitter page? The number in his bank account to 1?

What is your favorite body part (on yourself) and why?

My calves. I’m 83 and my calves are the same size that they’ve been for 20 years. Obviously, I exercise but they also keep me moving and they keep my balance.

Is this really a question?

What type of products do you never go cheap on, for the sake of quality?

I don’t go cheap on anything, but I’m not a shopper. If I want something, I look at it, decide what it is, but it will usually be the best product. I’ve got a pair of loafers that I still wear that I got in 1957.

I legitimately thought he was going to say “if I want something, I look at it, decide what it is…and buy two.

Describe a few of your pet peeves.

On a screw-up or whatever it is, I can usually backtrack and see that it was a communication problem. Somebody didn’t communicate. I don’t like to have anybody operating without a plan. Anybody who says to me, “I don’t have an agenda,” I say, “Well, go get one!” I want to see a plan. I don’t want random conversation.

How often do you Google yourself?

Never Googled myself. I use a computer for market quotes and news, but I’ve never Googled myself. But I have visited their headquarters.

In other words “I don’t use computers, I just own dudes who do…”

What do you know now that you wished someone had told you 10 years ago?

I’ve been around so damn long — I’m 83 — so if you had said 50 years ago, it would have made more sense to me. But 10 years ago, I’d pretty much seen everything.

What childhood event shaped or scarred you most?

I don’t think I’m scarred, but I was there in the Depression, and I was too young for World War II. Did they scar me? Not particularly. I think I was very involved. I worked at a newspaper and did a lot of reading on World War II and was fascinated by what all went on. But no scars.

Would you rather … live without music or live without TV?

Without music.

How’s he going to watch OSU? Oh, he can just get in his private helicopter from anywhere in the continental United States and be at the stadium within 3 hours and whisked up to his private suite? Oh, my bad.

… be gossiped about or never talked about at all?

I want to be talked about.

Think of one of your least favorite people in Washington and, without naming him or her, describe what makes that person so unappealing.

Well, to me there’s the Washington, inside-the-Beltway speak. We’ve always got the polls, how is this going to come out or what have I seen that’s influencing what I’m going to say. The missing link is leadership. I’d like for somebody to just get up and say just exactly how they feel about it. I think they would be welcome by the American people, if they felt like they were getting it straight.

This also could have ended worse than it did…

Let your mother know how much she means to you, in the form of a haiku.

I’ve never done a haiku. I had to ask what it was. I was very close to my mother. It was an unusual birth in 1928 in a small town in eastern Oklahoma. My dad talked a surgeon into doing a Caesarean — in 1928! And they didn’t do a Caesarean in that hospital until 30 or 40 years later. So when I say I’m the luckiest guy in the world, I mean it.