Here are the Top Five Emmanuel Ogbah Comparisons

Because Emmanuel Ogbah is part star football player and part mythological beast sent forward in time to destroy opposing quarterbacks, I’ve found myself drawing unbelievable comparisons in recent weeks. Not being excited about Ogbah is impossible as a Pokes fan, and I assume we’ve all yelled things like “He’s a runaway freight train!” in the heat of the moment.

At least I know I have.

That being said, I wanted to take a further look at the best Emmanuel Ogbah comparisons and give you my top five. I’m aware these are far-fetched and strange, but just hear me out. Feel like I’m missing something obvious? Drop it in the comments.

Let’s get it.

5. RoboCop

Without diving into the plot of RoboCop, I’ll simply define him as this: a crime-eradicating cyborg bent on bringing destruction upon his foes. Sound familiar?

While I cannot independently verify Emmanuel Ogbah is made out of pure steel, I refuse to say he’s not. I’m going with OgbahCop at number five because (A) I’m 83 percent sure he’s not human, and (B) I’d pay all my money to see this sequel.

4. Jason Voorhees

The star of every Friday the 13th movie ever made, Jason Voorhees seems like an obvious choice at number four. He’s huge, devastatingly scary and made his name on terrorizing anything and everything in his path. That’s basically the definition of Emmanuel Ogbah when you look him up in the college football dictionary.

No hockey mask here, though. He elected for the football helmet because this is 2015 and times have changed.

3. Predator

By definition, a predator is “a person or group that ruthlessly exploits others.” In the movie world, Predator is defined as “a technologically advanced form of extraterrestrial life.” Would you question anyone referring to Ogbah as either?

Look, I’m sure E-Man has no qualms with Arnold Schwarzenegger and, quite frankly, neither do I. But if it came to blows and I had to choose… I’m going with Ogbah.

2. Bane

Understanding Bane is a super-villain while Ogbah seems to be a genuinely good human being, I’m going with this at number two based on size, physicality and an appetite for destruction. Of course Bane is intent on destroying a city, while Ogbah just wants to eat your quarterback… But, in the end, destruction is destruction.

Someone contact the athletic department and get Ogbah a movie-quality Bane outfit. Want to spark real public interest? Here’s your chance.

1. The Incredible Hulk

This almost feels like a cop out based on its predictability, but when you know, you know. I’m looking at this from Ogbah’s docile nature off the field and who he becomes when he steps onto it. Bruce Banner was a sweetheart, you know? Hulk will throw you from Eskimo Joes to the Theta house with a flick of the wrist.

In the end, I think Ogbah could easily start using Bruce Banner’s catchphrase: “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”