Connect with us


Previewing the Oklahoma State-Texas Tech game

Less Ryan Gosling and more Cleetus the slack-jawed yokel.




Game: Texas Tech (2-1) vs. Oklahoma State (2-1)
Locale: Boone Pickens Stadium, Stillwater, OK

Where we’re going, we don’t need bros.

Consider that an alternate title to this article. Feel free to steal that in a year or two, sports columnists of Lubbock.

Ahh, Texas Tech. The Big 12 leaders of unintentional comedy. Of course, Kyle will edit out any mention of my favorite aspect of Red Raider hilarity, but there are plenty more to share.

Let’s start with this image.

Just take a moment to revel in its glory. I seriously considered just pasting that into an email, labeling it ‘Texas Tech Preview” and sending it to Kyle because there’s no way I’ll be able to top it with words.

Let’s move on to this classic video.

It’s juvenile, sophomoric and will always be funny. Seriously, if you don’t think that video is funny, let me save you some time by asking you to stop reading this article. I’m not going to give you anything more high brow than that.

Of course we can’t forget Michael “I dreamed it in my head” Crabtree.

Lisa Salters wasn’t hearing your nonsense about foreseeing your game winning catch against Texas, but I’d sure like to know how many nightmares you have had about dropping a potential game-winner in Stillwater.

Finally, there’s this unbelievably entertaining email sent from a Texas Tech alum to the deputy athletics director. It includes the suggestion that Kliffy needs to be branded with the nickname “Swagger,” that he needs to be seen at Fashion Week in New York and that he needs the same stylist as Adam Lambert.

I’m sure recruits would be wowed by a coach that dresses like a person they’ve never heard of, goes to an event they don’t care about and uses a nickname that’s a term they stopped using in the 9th grade.

‘Come join the cool kids’ sounds like the recruiting pitch of a high school abstinence group. And we know that doesn’t accurately describe the citizens of Lubbock don’t we, Kyle? (*wink)

I do have to commend Coach Swagger Bling McCoolGuy for seemingly scrubbing the internet of pictures of him from his playing days. You know, back when he was not so pretty.

That’s the Kliff I remember. Less Ryan Gosling and more Cleetus the slack-jawed yokel.

Red Raiders To Know

QB1. I could tell you his name is Davis Webb and he’s a sophomore out of Prosper, TX, but to Kliff, he’s just the guy who is getting run off next semester. Eventually Johnny Football 2.0 will come swaggin’ through that door and until then, Kingsbury refuses to get attached.

Jakeem Grant, junior WR. This jitterbugging mighty mite is majoring in Human Science, which seems fitting as it’s the only way he’ll ever be able to discover how he does some of the things he does on the field.

He’s currently Tech’s leading receiver in both receptions and yards and is still somehow criminally under-utilized. He can also fit in your pocket.

Defensive Players. Haha, just kidding. Texas Tech doesn’t field a defense. They just send some guys out to quietly ask the opposing offense to stop running past them.

They’ve played three games this season. How many tackles for loss have they racked up? Eight. OK, how many sacks? Three. Yikes. Well, how many interceptions? Hahaha don’t be ridiculous.

Why Texas Tech might win

Despite the fact that the players to know section was offensively devoid of meaningful content, the Red Raiders are capable of winning games. Sure, they were forced to survive an opening weekend test from Central Arkansas (stifles laughter), then survived again at UTEP (snickers) before doing the opposite of surviving at the hands of Arkansas (busts out laughing).

But, they are more than capable on offense, which means they always have a chance, even if they dig an early hole.

While the OSU defense has looked strong overall, the secondary has certainly shown some weaknesses, especially when it comes to big pass plays.

Tech definitely has the personnel and the schemes to exploit those weaknesses. They aren’t going to win in a low scoring, defensive struggle. But, they have the firepower to hang around with a team with what is still an unknown at QB.

Why OSU might win

To put it simply, I’d imagine most folks that follow this program believe it’s considerably better than Central Arkansas, UTEP and Regular Arkansas. Against those three giants, the Raiders put up a cumulative score of 100 to 110.

The Tech struggles against the run are well documented, but they haven’t been good against the pass either. Well, I guess it depends on how lenient you want to be.

Against Arkansas, they were fantastic against the pass, but their defense relied on being so bad at stopping the ground game that it made no sense to go to the air. That’s probably not a sound tactic long-term. Or any term.

The Cowboys haven’t impressed anyone with their ground attack and the offense as a whole has been shaky at times, but there’s still likely enough talent hanging around to find the end zone plenty of times.

Matching up with what is probably the softest defense in the conference might be just what’s needed to get Daxx and the rest of the offense humming.

This game could give the Cowboys…dare I say…SWAGGER.

Totally Tickets is your source for Oklahoma State football tickets.

Most Read

Copyright © 2011- 2023 White Maple Media