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7 Things I’ll Miss About Dana



It’s been , well, comprehensively, substantially, and over –documented that Dana Holgorsen’s exit stage right (don’t let Bullet kick you on the way out!) is going to hurt Oklahoma State next year. We didn’t need newspapers, writers, and tweeters to inform us of that. However, I would like to put the nail in the coffin with 7 random reasons I’m bummed about his departure.

Here we go:

No more flea flickers on 4th down in the 4th quarter when we’re up 30 on Baylor at home. I texted all my friends during that game and said “Dana might as well sprint to midfield and extend both his middle fingers to Art Briles on the Baylor sideline.” I’m legitimately going to miss that.

No more unintentionally comedic conversations between him and Weeden. I told Mrs. Pistols the other day that Holgorsen probably says words to Weeden that I’ve either never heard or don’t have any idea what they mean and Weeden just stares at him like the crazed offensive circus act he is. I’m going to miss watching them interact on the sideline. Also, Weeden could probably get a book deal with the material he’s gathered. Hey, if this constitutes a book then anything can, right?

No more “our offensive coordinator hasn’t taken a shower since the Tulsa game!” jokes. And whoever we get next probably won’t have a sweet skullet either.

I was actually thinking about referring a few friends and/or family members to the Oklahoma division of Red Bull, Inc. The man was probably singlehandedly propping up that company’s Midwest sales quotas. I’m actually surprised he didn’t just start rolling out in a Red Bull hat with his OSU jacket for games.

No more “wait, he lives WHERE?!” reactions from people unfamiliar with his housing situation.

No more dreaming on the fact that we barely opened up the offense. According to this video he called the same play 10 times against Baylor. Apparently, Gundy said we “don’t have the personnel” to run everything he wanted to and the plays we ran this year were over-simplified. And we led the nation in total offense…

I’m a little upset that I’m not a West Virginia fan. How much fun is the Holgorsen/Huggins combo going to be over the next 5 years? A pair of coaches who could care less who they offend, what people think about them, and how much they win by. My boy Nolo put it rather eloquently the other day, “I guess I’ll like WVU now since I’ve fully invested in the thought of Holgorsen doing 4loko bongs while wearing nothing but a coon skin Davey Crockett hat in a Morgantown bar with Huggy Bear to unofficially welcome himself to the Appalachians while Rich Rodriguez peers in from a corner window.”

Thank you though Dana for giving us more email material than you can possibly fathom, never ever ever ever having your QB kneel (especially after the Troy near-debacle), and mostly, for the first 10-win regular season we’ve ever experienced. We wish you the best…at least until 2014 when you’re trying to ruin JW Walsh’s senior in the Fiesta Bowl…then we’ll hate your guts and curse the playbook you use on us. Until then, though, best wishes!

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